Steam’s summer sale is here to, once again, drain your precious coffee fund straight from out of your already semi-anemic wallets. With heavy hitting titles like The Witcher III, AC Origins and the Fallout franchise all between 50 to 60% off, I’m confident the product keys will be flowing as hot and smooth as Kilauea’s lava drifts, with potentially comparable monetary damages to boot.
And here on PMG summer sales means sweet, sweet lists so without wasting any more word allotment, and continuing on the topic of your sorry coffee fund, here, in descending order, are my Top 9 Steam Summer Sale Games You Could Buy For Roughly The Same Price As A Grande From Starbucks.
9: Saints row: The Third
Sitting between Saints row 2 and 4 not just numerically but also in terms of how seriously Volition was taking itself, Saints row: The third is sheer giddy fun with guns while still managing to retain the barest sense of realism and plot.
For a game that has successfully occupied the same niche as gaming titan Grand Theft Auto, it is no surprise at all that the Volition team decided to take it’s most successful title in an altogether more humorous direction. With the addition of an overhauled customization system that let players give shape to literal atrocities of form and fashion and the introduction of sex toys as tools of murder, it is fair to say that this titles diversification was a success.
Having satire as heavy as the cream you honestly don’t need on your drink this title will cost you the same as a cafe mocha while undebatably having a better soundtrack than whatever the shift supervisor felt was vibing for a Thursday.
8: Defense Grid: The Awakening
For people who love tower defense games at almost the exact price of a short black, Defense Grid belongs in that same lazy afternoon setting where you might reasonably find yourself indulging in either. With a silky smooth difficulty curve and that exact level of required attention that you can play it while, say, writing a steam sales list, this game demands less of you than that barista who can’t get the spelling of your name right.
7: Trine 2
An entry that sits in that most rarefied of genres, the co-op puzzle game, Trine 2 brings a lot to the coffee table. Allowing you and up to two friends to pick from one of the 3 archetypal fantasy character sets, Warrior, Mage and Thief, Trine 2 sets the stage for a fantastical and frustrating side scroller.
From its smoothly executed game mechanics to it’s joyfully vibrant art design Trine 2 does it’s very best to sooth the flaring tempers that will inevitably arise when you try to solve puzzles with your friends and while the calming voice of Terry Wilton, the games narrator who also did voice work in the Risen franchise, does go some way to calming the flames of contention, all it takes is one cheekily placed plank from Amadeus to undo all his noble work.
Guaranteed to test your relationships for no more than the price of a strawberries and cream frappuccino coffee date.
6: Dishonored
The flagship title for games with secondary cannibalism and a must buy when you consider that for the same price as a vanilla bean Crème Frappuccino you could instead watch rats eat a man alive. And then eat the rats.
5: Tomb Raider
The reboot nobody asked for but everybody needed, Tomb Raider is a brilliant revitalization of the series, telling our favorite plunderer of ancient cultures invaluable artifacts origin tale. An excellent example of a female lead so strong that she can fall from a crashed plane and in the same evening learn to accept the burden of ending lives with fire Tomb Raider kicks off what is shaping up to be a worthy reimagining of the franchise. Easily providing 20 hours of cultural defacement, this title is well worth the pumpkin spiced latte that you shouldn’t have been having anyway.
4: Psychonauts
From the consistently inconsistent Double Fine studios comes psychonauts, a game which cannot be adequately described in the number of words and lines I have at my disposal right now. Suffice to say it’s more mind altering than the cinnamon dolce latte you were going to buy with that money and is certainly a better investment.
3: FTL
A game that will take up more hours of your life than you are already spending in that corner at 3pm on a weekday trying to write your hot new novella, FTL is, I would contest, one of the strongest additions to the rogue like genre we have been given to date and is a relentlessly fun while ruthlessly difficult game. Add to this the always popular collection mechanic, in the form of 27 unlock-able ships and a fantastic blend of grim sci fi, resource management and frantic galactic exploration, FTL will slap you in the face and make you ask for another. Repeatedly. Hits harder than a quad shot long black and is well worth the comparable cost.
Portal was a masterpiece of gaming, throwing puzzle game mechanics to the forefront of the gaming world and doing it with humor, style and a heavily reference-able game world. You cannot talk about the successes of valve, among which these very sales are one, without discussing this title. Following that gem, our silent protagonist returns for another dance with science in Portal 2, a game that retains flawlessly the sinister yet relentlessly humorous atmosphere the first game crafted so well. These are noble additions to any game library and are absolutely worth giving up tomorrows iced frappe for.
If you do not already own this and have played any of the subsequent titles I would greatly appreciate it if you never talk to me or my sons ever again. Shame on you. Shame.
New Vegas is held by many to be one of the Fallout franchises strongest titles, with its development being outsourced to the positively fantastic studio Oblivion Entertainment while Bethesda busied themselves on the no less fantastic Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. This is the game that introduced not only the crafting and modding system that was possibly the best part of Fallout 4, but also the faction system that fundamentally drove that titles plot and on top of that was penned by the fantastic Chris Avellone who has dipped his quill in two of the top three games on this list.
You honestly should have bought this years ago and for 50 cents less than a white chocolate mocha here is your chance to make amends.
– Marius Cederman
