The Night Eats the World

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Waste of time

Catchy title, I like the graphic on the front, ohh two little award stamps! I’ve judged this movie to be a good one from its cover alone! That’s how good I am at this. Someone spends the time on the graphics and fonts and layout its gotta be good. It’s a zombe movie! Lock it in.

Set in a block of flats in Paris, it’s the day after a big party. Our ‘hero’ has slept through the worst of it. He awakes and it’s him and the undead. Ooooh. It’s on – what’s he going to do!?

Look for food and weapons – good that’s what I would do too. Ok, they’re taking a really good look at a lone survivor in a world gone zombie. Great! There’s plenty of good zombie stories that do that. What will be this movie’s angle?

He’s secured the building okay-ish. He’s running out of food. Now what are you going to do. Well, nothing really. He’s mentally unwilling to do anything accept make weird musical instruments to entertain himself. This also creates noise and draws more zombies. Why would he do that? Why would he break obvious rules?!.. ‘Cause he’s bored. 

This is the story of an unmotivated zombie survivor. And I guess that’s the premise of what the writers are trying to say – that this is what really would happen..? You just kinda…give up. Well I would say that they have missed the premise of what movies are made for…to kinda…entertain me! It’s like an unfunny Seinfeld with one character.

Well one more character does show up and there’s a twist, but I was so bored by him that I didn’t care. Just like him. He had me convinced on something that should not need convincing. That I want to be with another survivor. That’s got to be a fail hasn’t it? If what I really want is to be with someone else. I wonder what the zombies are doing?

I don’t think it’s the actors fault. He’s just doing what he’s told. Maybe it’s the budget. It’s all shot in one apartment, you do get to look down the same road a few times and check in on the same zombie crew. So that’s pretty limiting, I guess. But wait. Have you lot seen Quarantine!? Especially the original Spanish version. That’s one place and damn that’s good. So much action and awesome characters! So the budget excuse can only go so far.

The Night Eats The World – it’s so dramatic sounding. The cover and the title screams intensity. Come on, you tricked me! I take a look back at the DVD and wonder how my cover-reading skills have let me down!? Ahh look! Yep! It has a review quote that says “It will blow your mind”, @Stephen King. That compliment is way too open-ended. You see, it’s obviously gonna suck! DVD cover skills re-engaged!

-Nick Holder



Waste of time

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