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Nazi Megastructures 6

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4

Could do without

Why am I reviewing this? I kinda chose it for a joke. But now it’s on me cause I’ve gotta write a review for Nazi Megastructures.. Six.

Who’s going to act on this review? I’d be amazed if anyone is going to find this useful but hey, I guess I could lie and tell you I now have a burning need to watch one though five after the rectangle in my lounge gave birth to the triumph in my eyes that is Nazi MegastructuesSix. No!

No lies! How could I soil this precious trust that we have so carefully nurtured between us? How could I take your hand and lead you to the valley of ‘Meh’ and leave you there? In a place where over three hours of your life will be taken from you? I don’t know if our relationship could survive it. We would be back to square one. Making awkward conversation about, I don’t know, Disney movies and the weather.

I can only guess that the Nat Geo Channel, that congealed Nazi Megastructures 6, has bought and owns a vast quantity of World War II stock footage. And now they need to pay those bills. I’m guessing there is a white board somewhere with all the titles that their marketing team can come up with. “How many different ways can we cut the same footage” is the name of the game. Come on, there’s no bad ideas here. The concepts must flow cause we all gotta get paid.

The first few stories on the first DVD is the Japanese bombing Pearl Harbor, then various campaigns of US naval engagements and invasions of Japanese held territory. Okaaaay? Where’s my frekn megastructures?! They did mention tunnels and a large radio tower once or twice.. Towards the end. It’s basically interesting but it’s just generic WWII stories.

If anyone has had Sky TV growing up you’ve probably accidentally already seen most of it. You know, you’re sitting there, bored out of your mind. Just tapping through every channel. By the time you get up to the 70’s you’re exhausted. Driven nearly mad by the lameness of it all. So many channels of things you just don’t want to watch.

And so, you come to some black and white explosions. Ahh, you hear yourself think.. the Nat Geo Channel. You know there’s not far to go before you reach the news channels and then, it’s all over. You’ll have to start all over again. You can’t bare it! Your arm slumps and the remote rolls onto the floor.

Now what? Why even bother picking it up, you know there’s nothing better to watch and you simply don’t have it in you to tap through all the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s again. The dramatic voice narration and artillery rounds are softened to melody over your parents telling you to go mow the lawn. This will do. I’ll make a nest of the Nat Geo Channel for my brain to crawl up into.

And so you’ve probably seen it, Nazi Megastructures 6. If you had Sky in the nineties or two thousands. Where you were forced to search the desert of channels for… something. You too would have settled here.

Some people, like my father-in-law, take naps in front of motorsport. Some will take a snooze in front of a cake competition or an old M*A*S*H or Friends marathon. Maybe your perfect siesta time, will be found, in Nazi Megastructures 6.

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4

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